Bad boys should come with a disclaimer—and oddly enough, they kind of do. Some red flags are obvious, like flirting with other women or suddenly becoming unreachable. The subtle signs are harder to notice. Love is blind, after all, so here are five patterns worth paying attention to.
1. You’re always making excuses
The only thing worse than bad behavior is constantly making excuses for it. Do phrases like “he’s just been busy,” “that’s just his personality,” or “he promised he’ll change” sound familiar?
Admitting that your dream guy isn’t actually Prince Charming isn’t easy. It can mean accepting that the relationship has failed and finding the courage to re-enter the dating world. Excuses may seem easier, but convincing yourself that someone is decent doesn’t make the story true. Save that creativity for someone who deserves it.
2. You feel anxious
Do you often feel uneasy? If you’re always initiating plans or he no longer sends the thoughtful messages he once did, the imbalance may leave you stressed about the relationship. You can’t make love happen alone—it takes two. A healthy relationship shouldn’t keep you in a constant state of anxiety.
3. Your life is crazier
Drama does not equal love. Someone who creates problems through jealousy, forgetfulness or rudeness will leave you stressed. It can be tempting to interpret constant fighting as wild passion, but a healthy relationship can still have passion without the drama and tears.
4. Your relationship feels like a secret
Healthy relationships shouldn’t feel like they exist on their own island. It’s common to get carried away with love, but you shouldn’t be hidden from the other important people in someone’s life. If no one close to him has heard about you, it may be a sign that he doesn’t see the relationship as meaningful or lasting.
5. You’re more insecure than usual
We all have insecurities, and everyone has seasons when they feel down. But your relationship shouldn’t be the cause. A good partner should build you up rather than leave you questioning your value, your appearance or whether you are enough.
Life is too short for relationships that leave you guessing. Look for positive, meaningful love in which both people communicate clearly and treat each other with care.