If you are following us on YouTube, you know that we are doing a whole video series where we talk about how we met and all the stories that go with that. In the most recent video, we talk about the emails that Andrew and I sent each other a few days before I officially moved to Nashville. I promised they would be posted in text form—so here they are!
Andrew’s Email
MEMORANDUM
TO: Bug
FROM: Bro
DATE: October 28, 2013
SUBJECT: Considerations for Moving to Nashville
First, let it be known that the recent decision to uproot your location and move from West Des Moines (WDM) to Nashville is welcomed. It is both exciting and mind blowing to consider how in less than 9 days you will be living less than a mile from the Bachelor Pad, the place at which you have been staying up until your move in date, November 5, 2013. The prospect of that proximity is a relief, as it seems that I can’t function properly merely hours after your departure.
I am genuinely looking forward to the opportunity to spend more time with you, make more memories, and grow in our relationship. Enough of the business talk.
I hope that you are well aware that I have one ultimatum in our relationship. That serving you and helping you reach your full potential is my top priority; and if this is not the case, then I am not worthy to be with you. Yes, there will be failures and frustrations, but at the end of the day, I hope that you can honestly lay your head down and without a doubt know that in some way, I have helped. I have served. I have honored and respected.
In order to preserve this, I want to propose a few ground rules. I believe I have made clear to you that never before have I felt how I now feel, and I have never been put in a situation such as this. Obviously, I am making a rather big deal out of all of this, but it’s only because you are a big deal to me. Now, here are my propositions moving forward:
- If you need help with ANYTHING, let me know. This includes dog sitting, cleaning, me leaving because I’ve overstayed a welcome, or rides to and from the airport. I am not saying that I am the solution to all of your problems and don’t want you to have that expectation, but remember, I am here to serve.
- Chances are, at some point along the ride, there will be days on which we don’t see each other. I plan on maintaining the mentality that each and every second spent with you is a gift, a treat, a blessing, and undeserved. On days that I don’t see you, I am still grateful for you. You and I both will be busy—me with football and school and keeping up with guys, you with your work. Let’s try to be sensitive to that.
- A side thought that I had was that in Iowa you have your parents and Tori and your friends. In Nashville, they aren’t here. I know you’ve lived in LA and all that, but I was still thinking of that. You’ll have your group of friends here, but they are a different source of comfort from your family. I guess I just say this so that you keep this in mind.
- I don’t want any part of this to be stressful. That may be idealistic of me, but if it’s too much of a hassle to move, or too much of a stretch to leave Iowa, or illogical with your travel schedule, then don’t overdo it.
- I want to cook WITH you. I think it would be fun to learn and this is a good reason to start.
- I really like hanging out with you. In all situations. I’m sure we will have our alone time, and I desperately want that. But also realize I think you’re funny around my friends and you fit in well. So if it’s okay, I hope we can hang out with everybody together. It’s a lot of my friends’ senior year, so it’s kind of weird knowing this is the last few months I’ll be spending with them here.
I think the biggest thing is to just have realistic expectations. Let me know what you think about all these. I know it’s kind of ridiculous I’m thinking of all of this, but I just want to be sure we go about this the right way.
Andrew East
My Response
Mr. Bro… Let me just start by apologizing for the delayed response. I’m not going to lie either, last night when I read this I got slightly overwhelmed and was uncertain as to how I should respond. SO, I’m going to give it my best attempt in putting in writing everything that is going through my brain so maybe you can understand things a little better.
- I absolutely loved your email. Don’t think otherwise. I love how open you are, how you share your thoughts, and voice your concerns. I’m still learning how to do that. But in your email, I wasn’t sure if I was reading into things too much, if I am just getting nervous, or it’s a combination of both of us that left me feeling overwhelmed and questioning.
- I am nervous. Flat out. I’m not stressed or anxious really, I’m just nervous. Something I’m not sure I’ve explained well enough in this whole decision and process is the magnitude on my end of what I’m getting ready to do. I’ve moved many times before. I’ve lived in Dallas, LA, NYC, and even a few other places, but they were always temporary and I always knew I’d be coming back home. Well, this time is different. I sold my old condo and am renting out my house. Besides my new apartment, I don’t have anywhere that is just mine to go back to anymore. This is my new home, and the feeling of permanency—or at least permanency of change—is far greater than I’ve ever felt. I know this time is different. It doesn’t make me want to change my mind or any of my plans; it just makes things more serious for me and leaves me restless at night. I’ve always said I was going to leave Iowa to try and start making a long-term life for myself, and I feel I really am now. Add in how close I am to my family and I may just vomit! There’s just a lot of change coming and it’s scary.
- Why I am moving: I want this one to be as clear as day. Don’t take this personally or think this is insensitive, because Andrew, you mean more to me than I could have ever imagined. BUT I am moving to Nashville for me. Point blank. I have been looking for a new place for a while, and I’ve been looking at Nashville for a while. Whether for school or just a new home, I fell in love with the city a few years ago when I came to work the CMTs. I have purpose here. I can work and travel easily. I have cousins and friends, trainers and potential for a new job, and my biggest corporate partnerships are in Memphis and Knoxville. Nashville makes sense right now. Rewind to the CMAs and insert you. You threw my plan a little, you turd—but for the better! Given my past experiences, I’m very cautious about making decisions based on a relationship. I want to make sure you know I’m not moving my life solely based on you; this has always been my plan and you are a serious blessing on top of it.
- Adding to number three: Andrew, I am stubborn. I am incredibly independent, and I get shut off and guarded when I feel I’ve put myself out there or become vulnerable. I have a lot of change going on and frankly I feel myself shutting off a little. I like you so, so, so much. I want to further our relationship, spend more time with you, and get to know you more. But I’ve never lived a mile away from the guy I was dating. I’ve always thought I was so crazy and unlovable that if anyone got too close and got tired of me, they’d leave and I wouldn’t have anywhere to go. My independence can be a fault. I’ve built it up so I’d never have to depend on someone. But you, my friend, are breaking that down. Even though I don’t let my life and well-being depend on you, you make me better. You make me think clearer and be the person I know I should and want to be. You make me happy and want to work even harder to become a better version of myself. So in a way my soul depends on you—and holy crap that scares me, in a good way.
- Lastly, I want you to know I AM EXCITED! Beyond excited. On top of all my rambling, this is something I’ve been looking forward to for a while. Staying in Des Moines ties me to my past too much. It doesn’t allow me to grow, and I know Nashville will. I look forward to actually being within walking distance from you, and Nash is looking forward to his new puppy sitter and that awesome dog park. I don’t doubt there will be failures and hard times. Heck, now instead of driving me to the airport and only putting up with me for a few days, you’re going to have to put up with me for longer! Just like you told me, make sure you tell me and kick me out when I’ve overstayed my welcome.
A few other things: You’ll probably get to see how busy I can be. Every time I flew into Nashville I cleared my schedule just to hang out. Now this is home and it’s not all chill time, so being sensitive to schedules won’t be a problem. I want to cook with you too—I’m really not that good, but I can follow a recipe. I cook dinner every night when I’m home, so if you ever need dinner you are always welcome; I’ll make extra. I understand this is your friends’ last year and won’t worry about taking time away from them. I love your friends and will gladly accompany you anytime you want a bug around, but I won’t barge in on boy time. And as much as I’m gone, I know it’s a lot to ask you to watch a puppy all the time, so don’t hesitate to say no.
Last, last thing I want to stress: You, Mr. East, are the most incredible guy I have ever met. Just from simple observation—watching you around your friends, family, and community—I’ve been sincerely humbled. You are a true man of honesty, family, faith, a leader, a great friend, and a serious goofball when you want to be. You have a way of touching people’s hearts by simply listening, and it is a beautiful thing to see. You motivate me to be better.
You are a true comfort when I am with you and you make me feel at home when I’m cuddled up in your arms. You make me feel like a true princess, and I only hope and pray that if I don’t ever live up to that as well and return everything you deserve, then you put me in my place or, like you said, end it—because you are something special that only deserves the very, very best.
AUV
—Bug